I Am What I Am?

One of my seminary professors, as I earned my MA in Clinical Psychology, gave us an assignment to try and accomplish. He told us to observe closely, the next time we found ourselves in our family of origin unit, as to the behaviors of each family member, as we reunited from our now diverse adult lives we’ve developed. Mostly, without exception, we all were surprised to see that we adjusted to the family order and personas we each developed as children in that unit. These behaviors were now being exhibited in the original family unit….often time foreign to our outside original family unit personas.

This is called “homeostasis” which simply put, is a rebalancing either or both our early developed need or drive base behaviors. We do it through our lives and often the underpinnings of which, define in some measure our behaviors throughout our lives; with some calibration.

Therapists have been able to build a rather substantial an unending revenue stream by; not only honestly helping someone in unhealthy need or drive status, but also, by exploiting or taking advantage of someone’s maladjustments…for personal financial gain.

David White writes, “In a physiological context, homeostasis is disrupted by what is referred to as a need state, which is an innate need, like hunger. Psychologically, however, the disruption is caused by drive states, which are secondary states built on learned behavior and beliefs. Because they are often triggered by arousal, drive states can cause people to engage in negative behaviors, like over-eating or excessive consumption of alcohol.”

Ok….let me land the plane.

It’s Thanksgiving, I’m walking Bella (my most beloved border collie) and I’m looking at the homes I walk by and imagining their Thanksgiving day. Traditions will be followed by many, some will take time to gather their inherent gratitudes and be blessed. But some may harbor resentment…others may not have such gratitude, or even the ability to recognize it in the midst of their past and present storms. Their homeostasis of their family of origin may be filled with fear and pain…and they find themselves constantly reverting to it because it is the only constant balance they have ever had.

I was blessed, in that my homeostasis of family of origin, was by and large, a positive foundation that I’ve been privilege to build and adjust my whole life….though some adjustments were less than positive, and for some seasons, I found myself out of balance. But I have a foundation, that is built on rock….its not easily affected by the storms of life.

This has been a bit of a heavy dose of mumbo jumbo for folks who like that sort of thing. Let me speak my heart to you.

You are not stuck with the pattern of life treadmill you find yourself on. Your fears, your maladjusted habits, your unmet needs, your disruptive drives….can be made new. Sounds too easy. And by our own steam in our hearts and minds….its most probably unattainable.

I’ve often pondered the simplicity of one of the shortest sentences in the Bible referring to God: “I Am.” Yahweh. The beginning….and the end. The origin of our story, your story, mankind’s story….and the last chapter, how the story ends.

There is another short sentence in God’s Word that intimates further ponderment (I definitely made up that word….get over it).

“Be Still, and KNOW that I AM God!”

Being “born again” is not a physical rebirth, at least not presently; but rather a spiritual rebirth. It is a fresh start on a new foundation…a newly created homeostasis that we can revert to, when the wind and the waves threaten to overwhelm us. It is a life of brilliant balance. Light for our steps…an answer when we seek knowledge and understanding.

Jesus, God’s Son, was crucified, buried….then rose from the DEAD (definitely a last chapter), giving us the ability to receive a new foundation to build upon.

You are not stuck where you are presently.

One of my favorite biblical characters of historical note is King David: a shepherd boy who became a giant slayer, a sinner that sometimes followed his perceived need rather than the path of righteousness, a writer of Psalms….sonnets of his heart), whom God Himself described him as, “a man after God’s own heart.”

This Thanksgiving, start a new story…a homeostasis that will keep you in balance.

Reflect on a shepherd boy’s song of praise!

Psalm 139:1-6, “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.

You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.”

Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Today, be Present-in the moment. Be still…….and KNOW that I AM GOD.